It’s My Birthday!
Posted December 13, 2006on:
Which partly explains the lack of posts. I have three new books, four new issues of LRB (!!!), actually enjoyed a fantastic NYRB issue, and am still catching up with friends and relatives busily calling the celly.
I like birthdays!
As my gift to you, enjoy this Romance cover model’s lament, courtest of The Onion.
Judging from the picture, the sketch was based on the occasion in which I chanced upon Arden, the crofter’s nubile young daughter, kneeling upon a rocky outcropping and picking some wildflowers from the weathered stone. Even though I had only just finished tilling seven acres of firm earth, I knew at once my broad, thewy arms could take her. “You rogue! I shall not allow this offense against my honor!” she cried out, her titian hair uncoiling in the Caledonian wind. As I dipped her low, her pounding heart betrayed her pleas for her chastity, and my turgid manhood would be denied no longer.